Mittwoch, 28. Oktober 2015

Uf u drvo

So. That's it then. Tomorrow's the day. 

For the past six months you have been preparing your emigration to the UK. The perfect job is waiting for you there. What an amazing opportunity!

The days leading up to your departure have been busy with decluttering, making inventory lists for customs and saying good-bye to friends and family. Boy, you never know how rich you are and how much you're loved until you leave the country!

While it is completely out of our hands, whether your landlord manages to actually finish the renovations on your new apartment in time, we can make sure you will be able to blend in quickly with the locals.
  • The secret to do so lies solely in the use of one word: “innit” -- a colloquial abbreviation of “isn’t it?” Confusingly, although “innit” implies a query, this uniquely London method of punctuating sentences is a purely rhetorical device. Thus, “time for drink, innit?” is wrong, but “I’ve had four pints and no dinner, innit” is grammatically perfect. (Source: CNN) 
  • The British have more words for "being drunk" than to describe the current weather. 
  • The traffic comes from the right.
  • Apparently the only time when Brits embrace their emotions is when they're watching football. So, in order to socialise go to a pub, club or bar, when there's a game on. (Oh, and there is no "London Team". Don't fall for that one.)
  • Don't pick a seat at the back when you're on one of those red buses. They're reserved for teenagers in colourful tracksuits listening to trashy rap music on their phone. 
  • If you're late for an appointment, always blame it on "delays on the Central Line".
  • Complaining about the weather is an important part of the etiquette. Cheer your opponent up with some trivia from weatherbase.com: It actually rains more in Rome or Sidney than it does in London.  


  ... and don't be a stranger!

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